Home is Where the School is: An Argument for Homeschooling Children

I never attended elementary or middle school. At the age of 16, I had never gone to public or private school. Before I attended high school in Wellsville, Kan., from 2005 to 2008, I was educated at home. My father worked multiple jobs so that my mother could stay at home and teach us.

I would normally wake up around nine, eat breakfast and watch TV for a few minutes. My mom would always come turn off the TV and then I knew that I was at “school.” She would gather my brothers and me in the living room and read a chapter from a children’s or young adult book to us.

That was followed by math, history, science and language arts, all of which I would sit at the kitchen table and do on my own, only asking my mom for help when I needed it. My favorite part of the day was when I finished all of my subjects and I could go outside and play basketball. Some days I finished at 1 p.m., other days 5 p.m., but I was not allowed to go play until I was done with my schoolwork.

In elementary school, my mother would guide me through handwriting and reading skills, but after that, I taught myself much of the time. I was handed my math books and I diligently taught myself the times tables, division and more.

Growing up, I didn’t feel that much different than kids my own age (other than being significantly taller — I was 6-foot-6 by the eighth grade). I wore similar clothes, ate the same food and watched a lot of Nickelodeon. An estimated 1.97 million kids (or just under 4 percent of all 5- to 17-year-olds) were homeschooled in 2011-2012, according to the Kids Count Census.

Both of my parents went to public school all the way through high school. My mom and dad made the decision to homeschool my four siblings and me because they wanted our education to be focused on Christianity and biblical morals. All five of us were homeschooled for more than half of our K-12 education.

There are plenty of negative stereotypes that go along with being homeschooled: We wear long jean skirts or overalls. We’re socially awkward. We’re religious fanatics. We take field trips to Walmart. While homeschooling is legal in all 50 states, some states require documentation to ensure students are up to par with public education students; other states have no requirements.  In Kansas, you have to be registered as a “homeschool” family, but that’s about it.

While my mom does not have a college education, I do not feel like she was inadequate to teach us at home. She taught me how to read and spell, and I developed a passion for writing because of her teaching. In my first semester of public school, my GPA was 3.87 and three years later, I graduated in the top 10 percent of my high school class. Fast forward a few years, and now I’m less than six months away from graduating from KU’s School of Journalism.

I will be the first to say that I had the best of both worlds. I had the opportunity to be homeschooled when I was young and have a very close relationship to my mother and my siblings. However, I also loved going to high school for three years, where I made friends and prepared myself for college by being in an “actual classroom.”

Being educated at home taught me many valuable lessons that still stick with me today. Most importantly, I was forced to develop self-discipline and self-motivation because I didn’t have someone holding my hand. I was determined to get my schoolwork done in a timely manner, which has helped with getting homework done in college.

I did not feel like I was a step behind my classmates when I first went to public school or graduated and went off to college. I feel like homeschooling helped me become the person that I am today. I never felt uncomfortable, inadequate or undereducated because I didn’t go to public school as a kid. Although I may have been different on the surface, I was really just the same.

Homeschooling is a viable option today for parents and students that choose to make the commitment. Homeschooling can lead to a college degree and a successful job. Homeschooling can work; it worked for me.

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  • http://twitter.com/mmrush23 Meghan Rush

    What a great insight to what homeschool is like. Most of us can’t imagine what it would be like to have our mothers as teachers, or even have to learn such self dicipline at a young age. Kudos to you, sir!

  • plagmanmama

    Thank you! We home schooled until this year and we put our last child into public high school. Their are so many stereotypes and people that judge. And don’t understand homeschooling and are too caught up in the way of the world.

  • motherof3

    thanks for sharing! It is encouraging to those of us now homeschooling our children…

  • BeckyD

    I was home-schooled too! When I ended up in a public school classroom in high school, I was way ahead of my peers. I knew how to study and manage myself without being treated like a baby. In essence, I had the attitude of a college kid in high school. In fact, the transition to college was an easy one for me. Best decision my parents ever made, and I hope to be able to dedicate my time to my own children in the same way when they are school age.

  • amom

    You mentioned your father’s decision to work multiple jobs so that your mother could homeschool. I am wondering why you mentioned nothing else about your father. Was it a challenge for your father to find the time and energy to be very engaged in your schooling and in relationship with you? I have homeschooled 4 and am currently homeschooling 1, and my husband did, for a short time, work 2 jobs. It was incredibly difficult for him to be physically present, let alone engage with our children during that time, and not due to lack of effort. There are only so many hours in the day and only so much energy. My oldest child remembers that difficult time and is very thankful his dad decided to return to just 1 full-time job, and also work from home, so that he could be present in his children’s lives. It has all taken sacrifice. Parenting requires sacrifice, regardless of how you choose to educate. I am learning that it is my parenting that matters to my children, not whether I am the one teaching them to spell and read. As a wife, I also think it is important to mention the toll homeschooling can take on the marriage, especially if one spouse is working multiple jobs. Marriage requires hard work, commitment, and time even without the challenges of schooling at home, and it is very difficult to protect the priority it should have before homeschooling. I appreciate the benefits you have been able to cultivate from your independent learning experience, but there are costs. Some are very great, and in my opinion, the benefits do not always justify the cost.

    • http://www.facebook.com/carolyn.forte.71 Carolyn Forte

      I am so sorry you did not find your homeschool experience rewarding. The challenges you encountered are very real and shared by all of us to some extent. I have known many who gave it up as you seem to have done because they felt the cost was too great. That is your decision, of course. We all have to make the choice we hope is best for our families. I wonder, however, why you found homeschooling such a burden. You called it “schooling at home” and I suspect that is what you were trying to do. As a former public school teacher, I would never recommend bringing “school” home. There is very little in the school regimen that fosters real learning. Oh, you can get a few skills like reading and writing and you are forced to memorize a whole host of disconnected facts, but learning to use your brain and really think deeply about anything is actively discouraged in school and can easily fall by the wayside with a curriculum based homeschool as well. The teachers who will feed and inspire your child’s brain are few and far between. “School” is a terrible learning model and should not be allowed to intrude on a home. Real learning is the result of interest, inspiration and passion for knowledge and understanding. You can’t purchase it in a box of “curriculum.” The stress of trying to “keep up” with a curriculum model is indeed not worth the benefit gained. Money issues are another thing. Although homeschooling can be free or very low cost, your family does have to eat and have shelter. Your husband is a valiant man for trying so hard to give you the chance to homeschool. You are blessed to have such a supportive husband. Forgive me if I missed the mark on the “school at home” issue. I responded because it is the most common problem that I
      have encountered in 20 years of mentoring homeschool families.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bill.vieux Bill Vieux

    You were not a “step behind” but 10 steps ahead…You avoided all the pitfalls of the compulsory government school and learned to love learning. You should watch the video on the link below from an interview with John Gatto

    https://www.tragedyandhope.com/th-films/the-ultimate-history-lesson/

  • E

    Well done, lil brother. Good read.

  • http://twitter.com/MelissaBeaver Melissa

    this is my first year homeschooling. thank you for this. it is truly encouraging to a newbie!